Monday, July 20, 2009

I Am A Light

Matthew 5:14-16 You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

There was a time when I first started to write when I felt like I had nothing to share. There were no experiences others would be interested in reading; no words of wisdom I could impart to make a difference in their lives. In my imagination, I rehashed the same old tired plots. When I tried my hand at non-fiction, that too seemed dull and lifeless.

"Why are you asking me to write, Lord? I just can't do this!" Like a hot potato, I dropped the $300 correspondence writing course I was taking and ignored the flicker of God's light from the dream He placed in my heart.

His light frightened me because it exposed the shadows of my heart - things I had hidden away because I was too ashamed and hurt to look at them; things about myself I frankly didn't want to know, much less to share them with others.

But God nurtured the tiny spark, gently blowing on it year by year, slowly adding kindling until the it burned small but steadily. He began to teach me about the darkness in which I hid, uncovering the pain and shame that bound me. The more things He helped me uncover about myself, the brighter my writing dream shone - I wanted and needed to share Him and the healing His spirit brings to a wounded heart.

I began writing again, haltingly with clumsy fingers around the pen. The words tangled in my mind and straggled onto the paper, but at least they were there in black and white. The halting flame of a dream inside my heart intensified to shed light to others along the path.

I learned that in order to be a Matthew 5 light, I had to understand the darkness inside myself. The more God teaches me about the person I once was and the person He is shaping me to be, the more His light shines through me. He gives the ideas, the words and the wisdom to share.

I no longer worry what I should write about - He has given me a whole heart full of darkness-to-light experiences to share. He has taught me that the emotions, thoughts and problems I struggle with are common to my sisters. I only have to be obedient and share from my heart. He will take care of setting that light on the hill so the ones who need His light the most will see it and respond.

Are you struggling with the dark issues in your life? Allow Him to illuminate and heal those issues - He will use His light to teach you what you need to know and them spread it to others. That's just the way Light works!

1 comment: said...

I found you on the AG blog ring... and simply HAD to check out your blog since it's name is similar to mine. *smile* I found that more than the name is similar, however. This post somewhat parallels my journey to writing.
May you be blessed immensely as you share the "light" within you through your writing that touches and encourages so many.
I'll be back....