Knowing God in the healing process

Then God spoke all these words, saying, ² “I am the Lord your God, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house where you were servants.

• “Have no gods other than Me.
• “Do not make for yourselves a god to look like anything that is in heaven above or on the earth below or in the waters under the earth.
• “Do not worship them or work for them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God. I punish the children, even the great-grandchildren, for the sins of their fathers who hate Me. But I show loving-kindness to thousands of those who love Me and keep My Laws.
• “Do not use the name of the Lord your God in a false way. For the Lord will punish the one who uses His name in a false way.

Ex 20: 1-7 NLV

For those who are hurting, victimized, lost and alone, healing begins with a glimpse of who God is. He is not like the ones who hurt us - but he is One who has our best interests at heart for survival, growth and thriving.

It may not seem that way here in this passage as we see the harsh "Do nots" of God's laws. But remember where Israel has been. They lived in Egypt where many cruel gods determined the everyday fate of the people. Everyone who camped around Mt Sinai grew up under their fickle thumbs. The people didn't really understand who this new God was, even though they had seen his miraculous works. Many of the people still thought of him as just another god, except more powerful, more able to crush them if he chose to.

In order to heal from their ordeal of slavery, the children of Israel needed to see God as distinct and separate from the gods of Egypt. They needed to build a relationship with him based on who he was rather than on their past experience. Here at the base of Mt. Sinai, God wanted to reveal himself to them as a distinct and unique God, not like the gods they've known.

So he laid out the rules of this new relationship for them - rules that are still applicable for us today as we heal:

1. He calls us to seek him and worship him alone, above al others, because Jehovah God is all we need. Things don't need to be complicated. He can do it all - offering his presence, his provision and protection to his people.
2. He is Spirit and Truth. Sometimes as human beings. we feel we need a "God with skin" that we can see, touch and hold to feel comforted - especially when things are at their worst. Yet, when we hold God in the palm of our hands, we limit who he is and what he can do for, in and through us. We take control of our own lives, rather than trusting in God. Letting go of that control and trusting the God who created the universe is a huge step for those of us who have been conditioned to fear because of the past abuse.
3. The gods of Egypt controlled the people, preventing their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual growth both as a nation, and as individuals.. God doesn't control us - he provides challenges and opportunities for us to reach the fullest potential that he created in us.
   
   Sin cycles down through the generations bringing punishment and death. Did you know that a mother who was sexually abused as a child is more likely to set the stage for her daughters to suffer that same abuse without the Lord's intervention? But through a trusting relationship with Christ, those cycles can be broken, not only allowing us to experience true freedom to reach our full potential, but freedom for future generations as well!
4. The fourth commandment places the burden of trust squarely on our shoulders. God cannot do anything for us unless and until we trust him with all our hearts. What is in our hearts will eventually make its way out of our mouths.
   
   The Israelites didn't know God - their complaints and grumbling erupted from the fear they still experienced. As we learn to know him and as we heal through this relationship, he will ease those fears. The joy. love and respect for our God will be the words that come out of our hearts because of our experiences. It doesn't happen overnight - it is a lifelong process that comes out of an ever evolving relationship.

It's easy to look at these commandments as rigid rules that choke our spirits. At the time they were given, God was confronting severe damage in the hearts of the people - damage and pain that was fresh in their hearts. They needed the strong words to force them to look at the God who had delivered them. Yet, there was love in the sternness as he gave them these words as guides for a relationship that would heal and rebuild the hearts of his people.
Today these are enriched by the visual picture of God's love through the gift of Jesus, sent to die for us to bring healing from the damage of sin and abuse. Jesus summed up these four important commands this way - we are to love God with all our hearts, minds, souls and spirits.
When he fills our hearts, there is no room for fear, pain and sin because the relationship we need most fills us completely.

God is investing in your healing

In the third month after the people of Israel left Egypt, they came to the Sinai Desert on the same day. They had left Rephidim and had come to the Sinai Desert. There Israel set up their tents in front of the mountain. And Moses went up to God. The Lord called to him from the mountain, saying, “Say this to the house of Jacob and tell the people of Israel: ‘You have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to Myself. Now then, if you will obey My voice and keep My agreement, you will belong to Me from among all nations. For all the earth is Mine. You will be to Me a nation of religious leaders, a holy nation. These are the words you will speak to the people of Israel.” Ex 19: 1-6

It was a sunny day, early in my healing journey from abuse. We were visiting at in-laws' home and I decided to take a walk into the woods in the back field. The memories and hurt of the childhood abuse hung heavy on my heart and I needed to pray about the overwhelming shame I felt in my heart. When I was almost 200 yards from the house, I turned into the woods , being careful to stay hidden under the trees, away from prying eyes, but not far enough into the woods to get lost. 

There was a large log lying on the ground, a perfect spot beckoning me to sit, meditate and pray.  My heart felt heavy at first as I began to whip my heart with self-condemnation. "Lord, I know you say you love me. But how is that possible with all this darkness and filth from the abuse inside me?"

I felt so sorry for myself as I prayed. All the unworthiness and uncleanness poured  out. When I reached the end of my woe-is-me prayer, an amazing thing happened. I noticed a beautiful flower nearby and began praising the Lord. My mood brightened. I examined my surroundings and my heart warmed to his wonder. I started humming, "This is my Father's World." He had come into that little wooded vale and sat down with me on that old log, inviting conversation.

Hanging my head, still feeling the weight of  shame I carried, I asked the Lord the question that was burning in my heart. "Lord, why are you bothering to heal me? I'm too broken and shameful to be worthy of your grace."

In the loving way only he can speak to a hurting heart, he answered me there. "It has nothing to do with your worthiness.  I do it because I choose to. To me, you are worth the time and energy I am investing in you. Even if you never do anything with the healing. Can you accept that?"

I didn't have to be whole to  be valuable to God. I didn't have to be healed already. He could use me if he chose, any time, anywhere, even while in the midst of the healing process. I was valuable to him, simply because my heart  belonged to him. All he asked was that I let him work in me.

The Children of Israel belonged to God too. At this point, they weren't healed from the hurts of their slavery. No! They hadn't even learned to trust him fully yet.  But as they camped at Sinai, God renewed his covenant with them. God was speaking to them with this same message. "I have chosen you - you are worth the time and energy I am investing in you, to heal you and make you a nation of religious leaders." The only thing he asked of them was that they allow him to work in their hearts and lives without pushing him away and to interact with him through the healing process. After all, a doctor can heal our bodies, but unless we cooperate,  and obey his instructions, the healing process will be hindered.

Perhaps, God is sending you a message today - you are worth the time and energy he is investing in you. Will you allow him to work in your life and cooperate with his healing program?

Learning healthier ways of coping

The next day Moses sat to judge the people. And the people stood around Moses from morning until evening. When Moses’ father-in-law saw all he was doing for the people, he said, “What is this that you do for the people? Why do you sit alone and judge and all the people stand around you from morning until evening?” 

Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to learn God’s will. When they argue, they come to me. And I judge between a man and his neighbor. I teach them the Laws of God.” 

Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. You and the people with you will become tired and weak. For the work is too much for you. You cannot do it alone. Now listen to me. I will tell you what you should do, and God be with you. You speak for the people before God. Bring the troubles to God. Then teach them the Laws. Make them know the way they must walk and the work they must do. Also, you should choose from the people able men who fear God, men of truth who hate to get things by doing wrong. Have these men rule over the people, as leaders of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties and of tens. Let them judge the people at all times. Have all the big troubles brought to you. But have them judge the small troubles. So it will be easier for you. They will share the work with you. If you do this and God tells you to do it, then you will be able to keep your strength. And all these people will go to their place in peace.”  Ex 18:13-23

When faced with difficulties, we often tend to cope with them by using strategies or unhealthy emotional coping mechanisms that we know rather than using new, healthier methods to deal with situations. I found that out recently when faced with a sudden onset of chest pain.

Yep, I should have gone directly to the ER but fear caused me to deal with it the way I always had in the past - I waited  out the pain  in silence, alone, unable to open my mouth to talk about  what was going on in my body.

With a lot of prayer and introspection, I finally realized that I dealt with my current circumstance much like I had dealt with the childhood abuse I faced - by pretending it wasn't there. If I didn't acknowledge the chest pain, then it wouldn't be real and I'd be ok. Not!

When I walked through the healing process for the childhood abuse years ago,   I learned that silence and pretending were not healthy ways to deal with frightening life experiences.
Rather, I had to break the silence and chains of the hurtful secrets I kept by talking about those hurts with safe, supportive people. Those caring friends and counselors helped me to recognize and confront those lies of the enemy.

But sometimes as we uproot those damaging lies, a few pieces of the root are left in the ground and years later we find a new aspect of the old problem to deal with as I did with my chest pain.

Thankfully, things turned out all right - I lived to tell about the chest pain and to examine my reaction to figure out why I froze, unable to do what I needed to do to be safe. God sent several wonderful friends to encourage me through this time - all of whom were willing to read me the riot act about going to the ER.

In this wilderness journey story, Moses has reverted to an unhealthy way of coping with Israel's neediness. He was ruling the people alone, as if he had all the answers and there was no one else qualified to help them. In a sense, he was trying to be God to the people, just like the pharaoh had been.  

But the people had too many needs; too much emotional brokenness.  It proved to be too much for one man  to handle. Eventually Moses would have burned out and the people would have become co-dependent on him. Thankfully, God sent Moses' father-in-law - a trusted ally, to confront Moses. Jethro basically read him the riot act about trying to do things alone, using the faulty ways of coping he had learned. Then he modeled a healthier way which spread the responsibility out among Israel's clan leaders. There were people among them with leadership gifts who had learned the lessons God was teaching them on the journey. They needed to prove their leadership abilities and Moses needed to let them!

God's goal was to raise up a strong, independent people who would worship him and become a beacon to all surrounding nations of the glory and power of God.

What unhealthy ways of coping has God confronted in your life? How has he used others to confront you when you  used these methods? How did you react to their prodding?

Father, open our eyes to the ways our old nature still affects our lives. Use those trusted friends who are willing to read us the riot act and help us choose new, healthy ways of coping. Amen.

Sharing our stories

Then Moses went to meet his father-in-law. He bowed down and kissed him. They asked each other if all was well, and went into the tent.  Moses told his father-in-law all the Lord had done to Pharaoh and the Egyptians because of Israel. He told him about how they had suffered on the way, and how the Lord had saved them.

Jethro was glad because of all the good things the Lord had done for Israel in saving them from the hand of the Egyptians. So Jethro said, “Honor and thanks be to the Lord, Who saved you from the hand of the Egyptians and from the hand of Pharaoh, and Who made you free from the power of Egypt. Now I know that the Lord is greater than all the gods. It was proven when they acted in their pride against the people.” Then Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro, gave a burnt gift in worship to God. And Aaron came with all the leaders of Israel to eat bread with Moses’ father-in-law before God.  Ex 18: 7-12  New Life Version (NLV)

Sometimes as I sit in church during the sermon, my mind wanders. Gasp! I know - I'm the
pastor's wife and should probably hang on every word, but alas, it's true. My mind wanders. But inevitably, when my husband begins to tell a story that's related to his topic, my ears perk up and my mind reins in those wandering thoughts.

Why? Because stories are powerful. Stories have an interactive capacity to weave us into their web so that we imagine what the character is feeling and we experience the action in our minds like a virtual computer game.

Not only do they captivate us, stories unite, connect and heal us - both through the listening and the telling. 

Remember Moses?  He had married into Jethro's family after fleeing from Egypt 40 years before the time of today's Bible passage.   So Jethro probably knew Moses' history. No doubt Moses had shared stories of  the sacrifice of Jochebed, his mother,  with his new wife's family. He probably told stories of things that happened in Pharaoh's court - maybe even recounting the trauma that caused him to stutter.  When he killed the Egyptian task master and fled, he came to Jethro and eventually became part of that family. For the second forty years of his life, Moses was healing slowly through sharing his stories with trusted friends and family until he was ready to go back to  lead his people out of Egypt.

Here in Exodus, when Jethro meets his son-in-law this time, Moses begins to tell the new stories - the stories of the suffering of his people, the victories of God, the struggles in the wilderness and the miracles of God's provision.

During the healing journey, telling the story of our lives and experiences, especially the traumatic ones, is vital to the process. It helps us to recover our voice - to have words to tell about what we've experienced. Story telling helps us integrate our painful experiences into our lives and lessens the pain the more we share it.  Telling our stories helps us to affirm the reality of what happened to us.
It also offers a chance for others to give us feedback, revealing  things to us that we may not even see yet!

Remember, when Moses encountered the burning bush in the wilderness? He had doubts about his own ability to become the deliverer and leader of his people. He was afraid and  balked, telling God he couldn't do it because he stuttered.

But as Jethro listens to these new tales, he hears what Moses may not yet realize - there is no more stuttering. His voice is now confident and strong.  Jethro listened with interest and empathy; then he was able to affirm to Moses that God had indeed done a healing work, not only for the Israelites, but for Moses too: " [God] made you free from the power of Egypt."
 

Listening to life stories blesses the hearer as well as the story teller. As Jethro listened to Moses' story, his faith increased. "Now I know that the Lord is greater than all the gods." And he worshipped God.  If there was any doubt before in Jethro's heart about the person of Almighty God, the I AM,   there wasn't any now.

What are you going through on your healing journey? And what is God doing in you?
Share that in some way, either through writing or verbally with someone you trust. We never know how our stories will affect the lives of others, but one thing is for certain - God will always use our stories to heal our hearts and to encourage others!

Creating a journey map

Moses built an altar and called it The Lord is my Banner. He said, “Because hands were lifted up against^[a] the throne of the Lord,  the Lord will be at war against the Amalekites from generation to generation.” Exodus 17:15 NIV

 After Moses had sent away his wife Zipporah, his father-in-law Jethro received her  and her two sons. One son was named Gershom,  for Moses said  "I have become a foreigner in a foreign land”;   and the other was named Eliezer,  for he said, “My father’s God was my helper; he saved me from the sword of Pharaoh.” Exodus 18: 2-4 NIV

In the Scriptures, names help map the spiritual journey of  the people involved. Here in Exodus 15, following the defeat of the Amalekites in Israel's first  armed wilderness conflict, Moses built an altar and gave it a name: Jehovah Nissi - the Lord is our banner. It became a visual reminder of God's miracle of protection and speaking or hearing it's name was intended to trigger the memory of the story of what happened there.

As the next chapter begins, Moses family arrives. Forty years prior to becoming Israel's leader, Moses had fled into the wilderness after killing an Egyptian slave master. Jethro took him in and eventually Moses married Jethro's daughter and started a family. He gave each of his sons a special name as well - so that the boys served as audio/visual reminders of what God had done for him.
God constantly uses this type of spiritual mapping tool to keep the minds of his people focused on him. It also helps future generations to see and remember hos love, care and provision.

 Several years ago, I taught a workshop at a women's convention and used this spiritual mapping exercise to help them create a visual memory trigger of God's work in their lives.
We started with a blank sheet of paper and drew a lighthouse in the upper left-hand corner.
 This is represented the point where we began our journey with Christ, our personal Light. Then we drew a ragged coastline diagonally across the page to the bottom right-hand corner and placed another lighthouse there, representing where we are today. This became a  visual map and timeline of our Christian walk.

One side of the line represented the sea.  On the sea side, we named events or people that hurt  or troubled us on our spiritual journey; anything that threatened to overcome us spiritually. Some  women got really creative drawing rocks, whirlpools or great whales in their oceans, each with a name. LOL!

The coast side represented the solid rock of Jesus Christ.  Starting from the time we accepted Christ, we drew small lighthouses all along the coastline, corresponding to the troubled times. We named these lighthouses for people who  influenced us, prayed for us and supported us during the crises. I included the names of Bible women who had influenced my life as well.

Next, we drew a second set of lighthouses  and named them to represent events  like answers to prayer, major or minor miracles that impacted our lives, corresponding to the hurtful things on the sea side. We also included scripture verses or promises that were important during those stormy times of our lives.  

What I discovered by doing this exercise was  that the lighthouses I had drawn were spaced expertly down the coastline. There were no blind spots where the light or influence of Christ did not reach. Christ always sent someone or something to help light my way during the stormiest parts of my life, even though I didn't always realize it at the time!

I like to get this "map" out often - especially when I feel down or discouraged because it helps me see more clearly that Christ’s Light is always shining out across the  difficult waters I am experiencing.

What names would you include on a map of your spiritual journey? How has Christ met your needs or encouraged you along the way through people, events or his word?

Healing Words

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Write about this battle. Write these things in a book so that people will remember what happened here. And be sure to tell Joshua that I will completely destroy the Amalekites from the earth.”

 Then Moses built an altar and named it, “The Lord is My Flag.” Exodus 17:14-15 ERV

For generations, people have kept diaries and journals. I recently began reading The Secret
Holocaust Diaries, written by a young girl from a well-to-do Russian family who lost everything, traveling with her mother to the slave labor camps (not concentration camps) in Germany during WWII. She kept her memories in thin journals and on scraps of paper, hidden in a pillow she tied around her waist, made of black and white ticking.

For years she kept her writings secret, Even when she came to America and experienced a safe environment for the first time in her life, she kept her writings and her past hidden. She made pilgrimages to the attic where she transcribed her  journals into English on yellow legal pads, processing the horrors she had experienced.  A lifetime passed before she was finally ready to share her memoirs with her husband and family. She wanted them to understand who she was; the events that had shaped her life and molded her future.  But she made him promise he wouldn't make her secrets public until after she died.

I am thankful that she chose to share her life because there is a richness of faith and the presence of God so evident in her life, in spite of the horror and pain.  Though my own "wilderness journey" seems harsh and difficult to me as I remember it, hers was even more so and helps me put things into perspective.

I became a writer for much the same reason - to make sense of my past and to share the lessons I learned with others so they might come to know the hand of God in their lives.

God "called" Moses to become a writer too - to write down the details of Israel's first battle as a nation so future generations could see and remember God's hand with them. Moses didn't stop there. He authored the first five books of the Bible which detail Israel's history from the beginning of time until they stood as a nation on the brink of the inheritance God promised their forefather Abraham.

God intended that those writings would become a historical record of his love and care for his people so that future generations would be able to know without a shadow of doubt that God loved them too. These writings have helped to heal the nation of Israel countless times through their history as they drifted away from God and then returned to him.

His writings still influence countless pilgrims as they take a journey to healing which leads through the wilderness. When I first began my healing journey, many of the promises I clung to came from the stories of Israel's healing journeys authored by Moses in Genesis through Deuteronomy. Their stories banished my feelings of aloneness on the journey and gave me hope to believe that God was the same today. If he loved and delivered the Israelites, he would do the same for me.

Today, think about all the stories you can remember from the wilderness journey of the Israelites. Which ones stand out to you and why? How has God used those same stories to influence your life or strengthen your faith? Write about these things.

If you don't already keep a journal, maybe it's time you should!

The power of a helping hand

When the Israelites were at Rephidim, they were attacked by the Amalekites.  ⁹ So Moses told Joshua, “Have some men ready to attack the Amalekites tomorrow. I will stand on a hilltop, holding this walking stick that has the power of God.”

¹⁰ Joshua led the attack as Moses had commanded, while Moses, Aaron, and Hur stood on the hilltop. ¹¹ The Israelites out-fought the Amalekites as long as Moses held up his arms, but they started losing whenever he had to lower them. ¹² Finally, Moses was so tired that Aaron and Hur got a rock for him to sit on. Then they stood beside him and supported his arms in the same position until sunset. ¹³ That’s how Joshua defeated the Amalekites. Exodus 17:8-14 CEV

Several years ago, when I taught Children's Church, we studied this  passage. As a learning aid, I gave the class a dare/challenge. Whoever could stand with their arms raised the longest through the lesson would receive a prize.  I didn't think they would last long  and I was right.  Just a few moments into the lesson, the girls had all given up and were cheering the boys on.  But each of  the boys  was determined to be the last man standing, in spite of a lot of moaning and groaning.  I finally had to tell the remaining boys to sit down and gave them each a prize.

They got the message of the lesson though. There was no way Moses could have kept his
hands raised all day to help the Israelites win the battle. He needed help! He needed friends to find him a rock to sit down on and then he needed them to hold his arms up so the Israelites would win the battle.

The Israelites had no fighting skills at this point, being newly freed from slavery. So they needed to see Moses' staff to trigger their faith, reminding them of God's power in defeating their Egyptian enemies at the Red Sea. If their leader got tired and gave in, lowering the staff, they lost heart and gave in too, yielding to the Amalekites. It took the whole nation working together to win this battle.

Let's make this personal.  When you are in the midst of a recovery process, whether it's from abuse, grief, or some other hurtful circumstance,  how long can you  endure by yourself in the battle for wholeness? You might be able to stand for awhile like my macho church boys, but without the helping hands of others you will eventually succumb to your weakness and suffer defeat.

Asking for help is difficult for many of us.  And we do need to take care who we ask since we may be easily hurt or revictimized. Those we choose must be trustworthy - family, friends or counselors who will listen, encourage and pray for us. They don't need to have all the answers, but they must walk with God who does.

Moses' help came from two trusted men, Aaron his own brother who stood with him in Pharaoh's court from the beginning of the plagues and Hur. We don't know much about Hur, but in later passages  at Mt. Sinai, we see that he had become a trusted friend and aide to Moses. (Exodus 24:14)

Remember that God is walking with you through this recovery process. He has been showing himself to be faithful in his love, provision and protection for you. Even if there seems to be no one there to help you, he is there. But as you trust him, he can bring others into your life who will help hold up your arms when you feel too weary or injured to fully trust him.

How has God been doing this for you? Who has he brought alongside you to help you - to hold up your arms?