I Am A Light

Matthew 5:14-16 You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

There was a time when I first started to write when I felt like I had nothing to share. There were no experiences others would be interested in reading; no words of wisdom I could impart to make a difference in their lives. In my imagination, I rehashed the same old tired plots. When I tried my hand at non-fiction, that too seemed dull and lifeless.

"Why are you asking me to write, Lord? I just can't do this!" Like a hot potato, I dropped the $300 correspondence writing course I was taking and ignored the flicker of God's light from the dream He placed in my heart.

His light frightened me because it exposed the shadows of my heart - things I had hidden away because I was too ashamed and hurt to look at them; things about myself I frankly didn't want to know, much less to share them with others.

But God nurtured the tiny spark, gently blowing on it year by year, slowly adding kindling until the it burned small but steadily. He began to teach me about the darkness in which I hid, uncovering the pain and shame that bound me. The more things He helped me uncover about myself, the brighter my writing dream shone - I wanted and needed to share Him and the healing His spirit brings to a wounded heart.

I began writing again, haltingly with clumsy fingers around the pen. The words tangled in my mind and straggled onto the paper, but at least they were there in black and white. The halting flame of a dream inside my heart intensified to shed light to others along the path.

I learned that in order to be a Matthew 5 light, I had to understand the darkness inside myself. The more God teaches me about the person I once was and the person He is shaping me to be, the more His light shines through me. He gives the ideas, the words and the wisdom to share.

I no longer worry what I should write about - He has given me a whole heart full of darkness-to-light experiences to share. He has taught me that the emotions, thoughts and problems I struggle with are common to my sisters. I only have to be obedient and share from my heart. He will take care of setting that light on the hill so the ones who need His light the most will see it and respond.

Are you struggling with the dark issues in your life? Allow Him to illuminate and heal those issues - He will use His light to teach you what you need to know and them spread it to others. That's just the way Light works!

I am Blessed!

Psalms 84:11-12 For the Lord is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O lord almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.

As I drove to visit my son on Friday, the sky was gray and overcast, full of long banks of clouds. Though it was mid morning, it felt like twilight because of the dimmed light. True, the clouds blocked the heat of the sun, making it a pleasant enough trip, but I found my muscles were tense and my thoughts somber, matching the grey skies. Though I prayed throughout the trip, the prayers felt dismal, centering on the problems my family and I were currently facing.

Nearing the Maryland border, there was a break in the clouds. In places the sun peeked through and created patterns of light and shadows as I drove through the heavily wooded areas. I suddenly realized that my thoughts had lightened too - I was concentrating on happier things and praising God for the sun's breakthrough. My hands no longer clenched the wheel and my shoulders began to relax as I enjoyed the ride once more.With each passing mile, my heart lifted until I was singing joyful praise songs to the Lord.

When we are in the throes of discouragement, it is difficult to remember how blessed we really are! Discouragement is like that overcast sky. The clouds or worry and care dim the sunlight. The size of the problems build, growing darker and more ominous causing torrential tears or resounding anxieties.

This discouragement/depression sequence can be debilitating. A tiny problem can mushroom in our lives, feeling so large until all we see are the dark sides of the situation. All we can feel are our tears and heavy hearts.When we reach this point, we've lost our hope. We just can't see how the situation can ever get better and we begin to sink into the muck and mire of a full-blown depression.

It's not something we can lift ourselves out of by just "pulling ourselves up by the bootstraps" and moving forward. We usually need help to overcome the debilitating defeat, discouragement and depression.

That's why God gave us the spiritual weapons of prayer and praise. He asks us to trade our threadbare garments of discouragement and to put on His beautiful garment of praise. It has Sonlight woven right into the threads and when we put it on, His light begins to lift our spirits. Just like the sun can lift our mood after the dismal rain clouds.

It is the power of God's Word and His Light that lift us up spiritually, mentally and emotionally. We can help the process by taking time to count our blessings each day. Each blessing is like a single beam of light. As we remember each thing God has done for us, we allow one Sonbeam then another and another into the dismal places of our heart until His powerful beams drive away all the darkness. No shadows can encroach on His light!

Like other areas of our Christian walk - it may sound like an easy "cure" for depression. But it's not easy at all. We may need to consciously and even forcibly direct our minds away from our worries and toward Him. Sometimes we sink so far into the mire of it all that we don't have the strength left to even direct our minds toward Him.

We need the help and prayers of our Christian brothers and sisters to encourage and lift us up. We may sometimes need medication to mellow the depression so we can function and begin to take the steps we need toward wholeness. The important thing is that we take positive steps toward overcoming the depression. Once we can begin to get God's Light inside us, the darkness will flee.

Though He is powerful enough to heal depression instantly, I think God prefers to do it slowly, In the slow step by step healing process He draws so close. He strengthens our relationship with Him and we learn to hear His voice more clearly.Those things can only be taught as we are held in His loving arms. Healthy sheep struggle to run and play. The tired and sick ones are more content to lay in His arms.

My prayer for you today is that you will learn to lay quietly in His arms, listening to His heart. There you will see and feel and hear His love for you. The dismal dark clouds will begin to fade and His love/Light will shine in your hearts and on your face!

Love to you all,
Bonnie

I am set on a rock!

I am set on a Rock

Psalms 40:2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. he put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Amen

I have visited several beaches along the Eastern seaboard of the United States. Each one is unique and beautiful in its own way.

Most recently we visited the Gulf Coast in Florida. There the sand is powdery white, very fine in texture. The water is the most amazing shade of teal I have ever seen. The gentle waves lapped the shoreline and we were able to wade out several yards before it became too deep.

On the Atlantic coast of Florida, the sand is coarse, made up of the pulverized shells of long forgotten mollusks.. It certainly made a great abrasive for smoothing the skin of my ankles as I waded in the surf.

As a child, my family went to Wildwood New Jersey every year until I was ten. There the sand was a light eggshell color and fine in texture, similar to the Gulf Coast sand. The long, flat beach stretched for miles in either direction, but the water had more of a dirty green hue and was rarely above 60 degrees in June when we swam there. Occasionally a low, flat rock protruded from the surface of the sand, worn smooth by the pounding surf.

During my Bible College days, I visited the beaches in Rhode Island and Maine. What a sharp contrast to the beaches of Florida, stretching for miles, level with the water's edge. Here the surf smashes against cliffs, wearing the edges smooth. In some places the rock formations are riddled with holes from the tidal barrage. There is a lot less sand along the northern beaches - and the sand that is there is pebbly, bits of crushed rock worn smooth from eons of tumbling waves.

I think of this New England beach picture when I read Psalm 40:2 - walking out on an outcropping of rock and watching the surf smash at its base . Even though the water has smoothed the rocks below with its incessant pounding, it is still strong, secure, a sure foothold.

The Lord has given me a firm place to stand while watching the waves of life roar around me. He will endure over time, in spite of the barrage of sin, of sorrow and death. He is the only sure thing in my life and I can feel His resolute strength under my feet. Above the crashing of the waves, I can hear and sing a new song of trust. I don't have to worry or fear anymore because my God is strong - a rock, a firm foundation!

Praise Him!

I am the head, not the tail!

Deuteronomy 28:13-14 "The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. Do not turn aside from any of the commands I give you today, to the right or to the left, following other gods and serving them."

There's an old Pennsylvania Dutch saying: "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get."

Some days I realize just how true that old adage is. I have so many things to do, I just never seem to get caught up. I feel like I'm at the tail end of the line all day long. And when I look back over my life at the end of the day, I wonder just what I accomplished?

Those are the days I need to look at my priorities. Am I a head - really putting God first in all my "busyness" or am I a tail - engaging in things that are unnecessary in God's grand scheme of things?

According to today's verse - there are conditions to becoming the "head and not the tail." Moses instructed Israel to pay attention to God's commands and carefully follow them.

So what are these commands of God that we are to pay attention to and follow? Moses reminded the Israelites of God's commands in chapters 12 through 26 - covering everything from their worship to daily food preparation, to how to treat others. These instructions were an expansion of the basic ten commandments God originally gave him on Mt. Sinai.

In the New Testament, Jesus boiled down those 10 commandments to two - You should love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and love your neighbor as yourself.

The common thread through all these references to God's commands is that of relationships. How we treat God, others and ourselves is the most important thing to Him.

If I measure my daily activity against Jesus' yardstick, I begin to see that the things I do are only important if they nurture relationships between myself and God or myself and others. Also, they must nurture my own spiritual growth.

Ok - I'm not advocating that we women go on strike and refuse to clean house! But perhaps we need to consider our motives for all the mundane tasks we do. As Christian women, if our motive cleaning furiously is so we can become puffed up by our spotless house, we run the risk of being the "tail."

Consider the story of Mary and Martha. Jesus chided Martha because she was so worried about propriety and duty that she missed a deeper relationship with Him.

Mary on the other hand loved Him so much she was willing to risk her sister's ire to sit at His feet and bask in His presence. Mary definitely got the "head" position.

But I wonder - if Martha's attitude had leaned more toward offering the best food and a restful environment for Jesus because she knew that His teaching, healing and ministry activities tired Him out -would His response have been different? Perhaps He would have had a word of praise for her because of her loving service to Him?

When I feel overwhelmed by my busyness, I wonder how much of my activity is motivated by a need to control, to feel needed or to avoid something else?

If these attitudes drive me, I lose my joy in serving. It becomes a burden rather than a joy to do my tasks. Things take longer to accomplish and I feel disgruntled in the process, often missing opportunities that would bring me even greater joy - just because I'm using up my emotional energy on bitterness and self pity. I will always be "behinder" when my attitudes are off kilter.

Father, examine my heart today. Give me eyes to see my activities as You see them. Teach me to make changes in my attitudes and motives so I do them because of love for You, for others and for myself. Help me come out on top at the end of my day, both spiritually and in all other areas! Amen!
Bonnie

I am empowered with inner strength!

Ephesians 3:16-18 (New Living Translation)
16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.


Which chicken wing is healthier for you?

A. Don Pablo's Buffalo Chicken Wings
- or -
B. KFC's Boneless Fiery Buffalo Wings?

Hmmmm. Ok - I'll bite! Which one?

According to the nutrition experts at Spark People in their daily Food Showdown e-mails, an order of KFC Boneless Fiery Buffalo Wings is the healthier choice. One little wing has 87 calories and 4 grams of fat so the whole order of 6 pieces would have 520 calories and 25 grams of fat.

Don Pablo's wings on the other hand have 129 calories and over 8 grams of fat EACH! That's 1036 calories for an 8 piece order and 78 grams of fat. Wow! That's over half of my daily allotment of calories if I want to continue losing weight!

I've been counting calories and measuring portions for over a year now and have learned how to make healthier choices both at home and in the restaurant. So far it has paid off with a weight loss of over 57 pounds! I'm learning which foods are full of empty calories and which ones contain nutrients that will strengthen my body from the inside out.

Coupled with making healthier food choices, I'm exercising more which helps to tone muscles and improve strength. But the increased activity and healthier eating habits have also paid off in other ways - I am feeling more content - I feel less depressed and anxious than I felt a year ago. Plus I'm enjoying life more.

Just like these healthy lifestyle changes have strengthened me physically, mentally and emotionally, there are changes I must make in my spiritual life to become strong and healthy.

1. I must choose to put my relationship with Jesus first on my list of spiritual priorities.

As a child I learned the way to happiness was to follow the anagram J-O-Y (Jesus-Others-You). But as an adult, I am realizing there are times that doesn't work.

As a Super-mom, I used to think I had to do things for everyone else first and if there was any energy left, I could look to my own needs. You know - "Never say no." My needs weren't important. Consequently, there was rarely time for my own spiritual nourishment. I grew weaker and weaker spiritually until I burned out.

God finally got through to me. I need to keep my relationship with Him open and functional at all times. When I keep that vertical channel open and clear, I am happier, easier to get along with and more productive for Him. Rather than putting my spiritual needs last as I had been doing, I must put them as top priority so all other areas of my spiritual life are healthy and strong. Then I can and want to do more for others.

2. I must eat a healthy "meal" from His Word daily.

I'm active in children's ministry so I'm not in adult church on a Sunday morning. It strikes me as funny when people say, "I can't teach Sunday School or Children's Church because I need to be fed."

Those poor souls! My best meal of the week is seeing the hearts of children open up to Jesus and blossom under His care! As an adult, I am perfectly capable of opening God's Word and reading His truths for myself. I know how to pray and listen for His voice. When I do those things daily, I am strong and ready to minister to others whenever the opportunity arises. I am healthy, not so weak and sickly that I need to be spoon fed each Sunday!

True, there are times when I need the spiritual strength and support of others. We all go through trials which weaken us for a time. That's when I need to call on those around me who are spiritually strong. I can lean into their strength until my own strength is restored.

3. I must exercise my spiritual muscles daily.

Without exercise, the physical body grows weak and flabby. The same with our spirits. If we are not running with endurance the race He sets before us; if we're not putting on our spiritual armor daily to meet the challenges of the day; we will ultimately lose our ability to make it as Christians in this world.

Things are changing - getting more difficult as the days pass. Will we be strong and healthy spiritually, ready for the battles that lay ahead? The answer is "Yes!" - When we learn to make healthy spiritual choices and become empowered by His strength from the inside out.

I Am Still

I am still

Psalms 46:10-11" Be still, and know that I am God, I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. (NIV)

"No more laughing, no more fun; Quaker meeting has begun!"

With those words, my young cousins and I pasted deadpan expressions on our faces. Lips clamped tightly shut as we silently vowed not to utter a word or crack a smile. The object of the game was to see who could keep still the longest.

I'm not sure where the game originated. We played it often as we sat on the back porch of my Mennonite Grandmother's home on a Sunday afternoon while our parents visited in the parlor. Because Sunday was a day of rest, we weren't permitted to play active outdoor games like tag or hide and seek. Instead, we contented ourselves with board games like Chinese Checkers and quiet indoor contests.

Inevitably, our Quaker meeting game only lasted a moment or two as the giggles attacked. We usually ended up laughing so hard, one of the adults would cast a frown in our direction to remind us to be quiet on the Lord's Day.

Being still was difficult for me as a child and that never changed as I grew into an adult. Each time God spoke the words to my heart, "Be still and know I am God," I would paste a reverent expression on my face and quiet my heart.

But just like our childhood game, the stillness didn't last as my mind began to whirl with worries. "Will God really do what I've asked Him?" "What should I do about this situation?" I conjured up a thousand reasons why I ought to step in and try to solve the problem myself because I lacked trust in the sovereignty of my heavenly Father.

It was easier to do things myself rather than to sit idly by and wait on Him. This attitude of controlling busyness originated from my inner fear that somehow I wasn't good enough for God to guide, protect or provide for me.

I wish I could point to a specific instance where God finally broke through and taught me to be still, but the truth is, I'm still working on the issue of being still before Him and trusting Him fully.

Whenever I feel the old controlling mechanisms kick in, I have to consciously stop what I'm doing and manually work at changing the way I react. I try to lay the situation out before God and ask for His help so I can wait patiently before Him for the answer.

Sometimes I have to do it several times a day because my heart wants to revert right back to worry mode. During those times, I do what I know to do - I place scriptures in plain sight and stop to focus on Him and His words frequently. I pray a lot - exposing my willful desire to solve the problem in my own feeble strength. Then I make a conscious effort to still my mind and focus on Him so I can hear what He is saying with His still small voice.

My cousins and I couldn't "be still" for very long as we played our childhood Quaker Meeting game. But with His help, today I am learning to quiet the anxieties of my heart and to be still in His presence.

Father God, I know I'm not alone in this. So many around me are suffering from anxieties and worry born of the inability to trust You fully. Help us to work each day to focus our eyes and hearts on You - to relinquish our need to control our lives. Help us to learn to be still and KNOW You are God, our strength and fortress. Amen.

I am a treasure!

Today: I am a treasure

Deuteronomy 26:16-18 "The Lord your God commands you this day to follow these decrees and laws; carefully observe them with all your heart and with your soul. You have declared this day that the Lord is you God and that you will walk in His ways, that you will keep his decrees, commands, and laws, and that you will obey him. And the Lord has declared this day that you are his people, his treasured possessions as he promised, and that you are to keep all his commands.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure." ~ author unknown

My daughter, sister-in-law and I spent Memorial Day cleaning my mother-in-law's front porch. Ugh - what a dusty job as we sneezed our way through piles of old cardboard boxes containing fabric, craft supplies and yarn.

My first inclination was to cart the filthy cardboard boxes and their contents to my house where I could toss them in the dumpster without offending Mom. But as we began pawing through them, I discovered many real treasures! One box contained pre-cut quilt squares, just waiting to be stitched together. We also found a few already stitched into pretty pillow tops that just needed stuffing. Of course, they needed to be washed to get rid of the slight musty smell, but someone had gone to a lot of trouble to cut and sew them all. I can always use new throw pillows - or perhaps sell the squares at a yard sale.

Another box held pre-printed fabric panels with designs perfect for making baby quilts for gifts. Again, they had a slight musty smell from being packed away for so long, but the box had protected them from dust and unwanted critters. As I examined them, I refolded the panels and laid them aside, trying to figure out where I could store them. As a pastor's wife, there are always new babies being born to church members and I like to give them gifts.

On and on the afternoon went as we found boxes of stuff - from whole skeins of yarn to small balled up remnants, rolls of quilt batting and even several unfinished quilt tops that were pinned together with batting, ready to be stitched. Cammie found one she loved and asked me to please finish and launder it for her bed.

We never did get to the cupboard that held lengths of quilt fabric and the boxes under the game shelf. That's a job for July 4th when we gather there again! But the point is that the boxes we did manage to sort through held things that were treasures to Mom. As her arthritis became worse, more items were moved to the enclosed porch because she needed the room for her motorized wheelchair, hospital bed and clothes downstairs. She asked us to sort through them hoping her treasures would be passed down to people who would also value them.

While we can't and won't keep everything for lack of storage space, many of her treasures will be valued and used up eventually - not just thrown in the dumpster.
God created man in His image, originally intending him to maintain the earth; to please and enjoy His presence as well as the world He created forever. Sin separated man from God. Much like Mom's treasures which were boxed up and moved to the front porch, sin caused man's heart to become dirty and unusable.

But God isn't content to let His treasures disintegrate with age or disuse. He constantly goes through the dirty, dusty, musty piles of refuse, looking for His treasures so He can wash them and restore them to places of use and honor in His kingdom. He turns the musty, cut up fabric of our lives into beautiful quilts and then uses them to wrap others in His warmth.

How often Satan's trash becomes God's treasure! Consider a person, like the woman taken in the act of adultery. Those around her wanted to trash her life - to stone her because of her sin. But Jesus forgave her and restored her sense of value and worth.

Without His restorative power in our lives, where would we have ended up eternally? Because we have been redeemed, we are privileged to share that trash to treasure story with others. The challenge is before us. Let's get to work!