Thursday, May 7, 2009

I Am Victorious


Deuteronomy 20:1-4 When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them,because the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you. When you are about to go into battle, the priest shall say: Hear O Israel, today you're going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not be terrified or give way to panic before them. For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.
I am a visual learner so the Lord often helps me understand His presence in my life through visuals - pictures of His relationship with me.

Many years ago when I started on my journey toward wholeness, God showed me a picture of how I saw myself. I was dressed in Roman-type armor - you know, the sandals that laced up the calves, a skirt of leather strips which covered the thighs, a leather breastplate, etc.

I had removed the helmet and stood with one foot balanced on the helmet. In my hand I held a long Roman spear with the butt end planted in the ground. My other hand perched on my hip.
I stood there on my cliff poised for battle, my long hair whipped back away from my face as the winds of adversity buffeted me.

I saw myself as a strong, fearless warrior for the Lord. However, I failed to see how alone I was on that hillside as I tried to handle the battles on my own. I didn't know how to trust Him through the battles. I was afraid of being a "bother" to Him so I stood firm on my own two feet, fighting FOR Him.

Twila Paris sang a song many years ago called the "Warrior Is A Child" As God began showing me this picture of Bonnie, the warrior princess, I began hearing the refrain of that song : "deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child" - a broken, wounded, hurting child. God dismantled that visual in one fell swoop. I was reduced to a small frightened child with no armor at all, naked and exposed to the elements.

Thankfully, God never leaves us in a place of brokenness. He always heals and works with us to bring out the beauty and strength He sees in us. For me it meant a long process of healing as He slowly changed my picture of myself from warrior princess to warrior bride.

What does a warrior bride look like? That picture of Christ is still evolving in my heart and life. But as of now to looks something like this: I am riding on the back of a strong white horse, but I am not alone. Christ rides on that same horse, right in front of me and I am comforted as I hold on tightly to Him.

I can feel the strength of His armored breastplate as I rest my cheek against His back. Even though I know we are at the forefront of the battle, I can't see the enemy because He fills my immediate vision. He feels strong, safe, secure.The muscles of His arms ripple with strength. I can hear His war cry ringing in my ears and I'm not afraid though I sense the enemy is quaking.

As His warrior bride, I fight with Him instead of alone, though most of the time, I must admit, my energy is spent clinging to Him so I don't fall off the battle steed! Because of that, I don't carry a spear. Instead, my weapon is prayer - watching the works He is doing and praying for those I see in the battle all around me. At times, He deposits me on the ground so I might minister to the fallen in battle, like Lucy of Narnia with her Aslan-given gift of heavenly cordial that has the power to heal those who drink of it.

How do you see yourself in this battle?

As Christians, we are definitely warriors on the forefront of the battle. He has given each of us a work to do to bring healing, encouragement and victory! Allow our Warrior King to give you the necessary training and weaponry as you fight this battle with Him.

After all, I've seen the end of the book - and WE WIN! Hallelujah!

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