Healing memorials

The people of Israel called it bread from heaven. It was like coriander seed, white, and tasted like bread made with honey. Moses said, “This is what the Lord has said: ‘Let a jar of it be kept for your children and grandchildren to come, so they may see the bread that I fed you in the desert when I brought you out of the land of Egypt.’” Exodus 16:31-32 New Life Version (NLV)

Several years ago on HGTV there was a program called "Clean Sweep." People whose household clutter had become unmanageable would call in an organizer with a team of designers and carpenters who completely cleaned out, remodeled and organized two rooms of their house.

Through the clearing process, all the contents of those two rooms spilled out into the lawn. Then the home owners handled each item, sorting it into a keep, sell or trash pile. At the end of the first quick sort, the most of the items ended up back in the keep pile since they were reluctant to let things go.


The professional organizer then went through the keep pile a second time, to pare it down to a manageable size. He zeroed in on items which seemed useless or frivolous; things which may not fit in with the design plans. Often the items he specifically chose had sentimental value to the family, but had outlived their usefulness. Most of the time, even though the family had items of great importance, they weren't being properly treated with regard to their value.

During these tearful scenes, the organizer helped the family to either define the importance and use of the item or to let it go after celebrating the importance of the relationship rather than the item. In some cases, he opted to keep the most important items and use them as design elements  in the renovated rooms.

In the end, the families made a large quantity of money through a yard sale,  the two rooms were completely made over and revealed to the owners.  The families  supposedly learned how to pare down and organize their clutter, while developing pride in their renovated spaces. The ultimate goal was to prevent that clutter from overtaking their lives again.

In a very real way, this is exactly what God was doing with the Israelites as they trekked through the wilderness. He was helping them get rid of the painful mental and emotional clutter of slavery. As part of the healing process, he replaced the old painful memories with new memories of his love and provision. When that happened, God often instructed them to do create memorials so they would always remember what he had done rather than what their enemies had done to them.

God instituted the  Passover meal as an official national holiday so they could remember God's deliverance. Now, here in the wilderness, God miraculously provided bread  (Manna)and  told them to keep a jar of it to prove his provision to their future generations. These memorials were designed to help prevent the Israelites from slipping back into their old ways of coping with life that resulted in their original slavery.

Through our own wilderness journeys,  God seeks to empty our lives of the clutter and pain of sin. He's renovating our lives and our memories, as he rebuilds our relationship with him. These renovations are designed to help us develop our confidence as his children.  There will be important events - milestones of God's provision, his revelation of himself to us or miraculous events which we will need to celebrate in order to remain emotionally whole.

It's important to keep a journal, to create memories through celebrations or to build altars (which we will talk about later) so we remember who our God is and what he's done for us.

Think about it for a minute. What important milestones have happened in your Christian walk? What events, people or circumstances have shown you his love or healing touch? Keep a journal or create memorials of those events so that whenever you look at them or celebrate them you remember and worship him instead of the past pain.

I'll do it my way....

One of the toddlerhood stories my mom used to tell me about myself was that I always had an independent spirit - that "me do" mentality. I didn't want anyone to help me with things, until I tried
to do it myself.

I carried that "me do" spirit with me all through my school days. As a teenager in Girl Scouts, I refused to fall for the "left-handed smoke shifter" initiation, taking my little band of fellow initiates with me on a scavenger hunt to find objects to make one. When we finally came back, everyone was a trifle upset because we stayed away so long. Even the leaders were worried. Oh the secret glee I felt that we had "won."

Like a pair of well-worn pair of slippers, I brought my "me do" spirit right into my Christian walk. I didn't want to ask the Lord for help without trying to find the answers on my own first. Each time I prayed, I had my own Plan B as a back up in case he didn't answer me.

But ultimately as an abuse survivor, God had to confront that "me do" attitude, helping me to learn it was really an attitude of pride and fear rather than trust.  In the depths of my heart, I didn't believe I deserved God's help and feared that he wouldn't always be there for me if I asked him for the things I needed.

My good buddies, the Israelites must have felt that way too. Here in Exodus 16 God is trying to teach them trust and  to heal their abuse-damaged emotions. Still, they insist on doing things their own way. "Me-do, me-do,"  seemed to be their battle cry as they gathered their manna.

 Moses said to them, “Let no one save any of it until morning.” But they did not listen to Moses. Some left part of it until morning. And worms grew in it and it became bad to eat. So Moses was angry with them. Morning after morning they gathered it, every man as much as he could eat. But when the sun became hot, it would melt.

On the sixth day they gathered twice as much bread, two jars for each person. When all the leaders of the people came and told Moses, he said to them, “This is what the Lord said: ‘Tomorrow is a time of rest, a holy Day of Rest to the Lord. Make ready the food you will need for today. Then put aside what is left to be kept until morning.’” So they put it aside until morning, as Moses told them. And it did not become bad to eat, and there were no worms in it. Moses said, “Eat it today. For today is a Day of Rest to the Lord. Today you will not find it in the field. Six days you will gather it.

 But on the seventh day, the Day of Rest, there will be none.” On the seventh day some of the people went out to gather it. But they found none. Then the Lord said to Moses, “How much longer will you go against My Word and My Laws?  See, the Lord has given you the Day of Rest. This is why He gives you bread for two days on the sixth day. Every man should stay home and not leave his place on the seventh day.³⁰ So the people rested on the seventh day. Exodus 16: 19-30 NLV

God gave them specific instructions on how to deal with this heavenly bread.  Yet, they still didn't trust him to provide for their needs, even though he had shown them several times that he would!

But God knew their hearts. What they were really saying was, "We know God can take care of us, but we're just not sure he will always take care of us. Just in case God turns on us, punishes us  like the Egyptians and withholds food from us, we will take care of ourselves." Their pride and fear taught them  to become invisible to God - to step out of his radar, so to speak - rather than to live freely in his presence.

Do you trust God's provision and blessings? Or do you fear he won't be there for you? Do you always try to take care of yourself so you won't get hurt again,  "just in case" God doesn't help you?

God has a specific plan to help us  lose the pride and fear of that  "me do" mentality  that causes us to take control of our own lives and to refuse his help. But it requires our obedience to his plan. How has he done that in your life?

Blessings,
Bonnie

When it's easier to look back

The whole Israelite community set out from Elim and came to the Desert of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after they had come out of Egypt.  In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron.  The Israelites said to them, “If
only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.”
 
 Then the Lord said to Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions.   On the sixth day they are to prepare what they bring in, and that is to be twice as much as they gather on the other days.” Exodus 16:1-5 NIV

For those who work with victims of  human trafficking, domestic violence or abuse victims, there is an unhappy truth: not everyone who finds their way to freedom from the abuse remains free.
Some return to their abusive situations because  they fear they cannot make it on their own.

Maybe they fear retribution or harm to their children unless they return to their abusers.  Often they lack the self-confidence necessary to make it on their own because of the years of brutalization. And sometimes they lack the support from outside agencies, family or their communities to pick up the pieces of their broken hearts and lives. Some may even  feel overwhelming guilt and shame if the abuser threatens to harm himself unless they return.  Many are looked down upon as the "bad” ones, even though they were victimized and not the ones responsible for the abuse.

Dealing with all this fear, confusion, lack of self esteem, shame and guilt isn’t easy. Those emotions often play into one’s ability to cope with freedom, causing  disorientation and an inability to make wise decisions. Freedom from the abuse can be too hard, too frightening,  so they return to the only life they know.

Look at the children of Israel. They were brutalized for generations as slaves. No doubt they suffered from this type of fear and disorientation after their deliverance from Egypt.

In spite of all the mighty miracles they had seen and experienced so far on the journey, they were still afraid to trust God. It was easier to look back to the things they knew, and to edit out the bad parts, than it was to trust God and look to the future: “There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.”

The Lord understood how fragile the faith of the Israelites was at this point. They had forgotten who God was and his promises to their forefather, Abraham,  about becoming a mighty nation. They saw his acts  but still didn’t know his nature as he washed their enemies away in the Red Sea and then sweetened the water at Marah.  They were unsure about trusting him with their lives. This new freedom frightened them and seems too hard.

Thankfully, God had a plan for healing their fear and building their trust.

• He made it impossible for them to return to their life of slavery, destroying the enemy that had enslaved them and putting the Red Sea between them and their past life.
   
• Then he put them into a situation where they had to trust their lives entirely to him in the wilderness.  By now their unleavened bread had run out that they had baked in Egypt. They had no grain to bake new bread and no way to get enough grain to bake more for so many people. Sure they had flocks of sheep and goats, but if they used them all for food now, what would they do when they got to their new home? How would they start over?
• In his wisdom, God sent them two ongoing miracles of provision - Manna each morning - a heavenly substance to be used like grain to give them strength for each day; and flocks of quail in the evening to satisfy their hunger for meat for their pots because they craved it.
• God wanted them to learn that trust didn't have to mean enslavement.  Unlike Pharaoh, God did not plan to enslave them, beat them and destroy them after providing for them. He provided because they were his children and he cared for them as a nation. His provision was meant to teach them to trust again and to help them become whole. It was "safe" to trust his provision.

To experience healing from sin and abusive situations, we have to learn new ways of coping with people and life events. Maybe God needs to put us in a situation like the Israelites where we can't look back and we are forced  to address the question of trust.

Can you think of any times in your life where God has done this to you? I'd love to hear about your experiences!
Blessings!
Bonnie