Overcoming our fear of the Father

All the people, experiencing the thunder and lightning, the trumpet blast and the smoking mountain, were afraid—they pulled back and stood at a distance. They said to Moses, “You speak to us and we’ll listen, but don’t have God speak to us or we’ll die.”

Moses spoke to the people: “Don’t be afraid. God has come to test you and instill a deep and reverent awe within you so that you won’t sin.”

 The people kept their distance while Moses approached the thick cloud where God was. Exodus 20:18-21

Child developmental psychologists tell us that a
young  child  learns who he is through
family interactions. By the time he's 4, he has formed a fairly concrete image of himself through relationship with his parents. If his parents have done the best they could in meeting that child's physical and emotional needs, he will usually have a pretty stable self-image as well as a sound sense of family.

But if a parent has neglected, physically or emotionally abused that child, the building blocks for future problems have already been stacked against him, including the development of his God-concept which happens between 6-8 years of age.

When I was a young child, I got mixed messages in my relationship with my father. He said he loved me as he showered me with  improper affections. But in the next breath, he threatened me saying  bad things would happen and I would be to blame if I ever told anyone what he did to me in the guise of that love. Because of my fear of his words, I kept silent well into adulthood. I stuffed my fear down deep inside and put on the happy face of a child in a model family.

As I grew up in Sunday School, I learned that God loved me too, but I had difficulty shaking the idea that his love was conditional, based on my performance. I always felt like I was hanging onto a string, suspended over hell's fires. If I messed up, God might just decide to let go of that string. Just like I feared my earthly father, I had a deep-seated, almost unshakeable fear of my heavenly Father. I strove to be the best Christian I could, putting on my Martha personality mask while secretly worrying that I wasn't doing enough.

I was much like the Children of Israel at Mt. Sinai here in this passage.   From the time they were infants in Egypt, they learned that their parents couldn't protect them from the heartache, death and pain of slavery. Displays of power by their captors were generally followed by death and an increase of hardship as their enemies attempted to create fear and compliance in the hearts of the Israelites. 

This kind of emotional brow-beating had been going on for 400 years, spanning many generations.
In the wilderness God had showered them with love. He protected them and provided for them. But they had been conditioned through the centuries to believe that their God couldn't or wouldn't help them. In fact, they believed this display of  God's power in the wilderness was sure to be followed by an increase of death and hardship, just like it always had with their enemies. No matter how many times God  performed miracles to teach them that he was there for them, it was difficult to overcome their  sense of fear. It's no wonder they hung back and wanted Moses to deal with God for them. If they dared to seek after God themselves, who knew what God would do to them?

As we approach Father's Day this month, consider your relationship with your father and your heavenly Father. If you were hurt by your earthly father in the past, it may be difficult to trust your heavenly Father now. God's displays of might and power toward you, designed to encourage your faith and  "instill a deep and reverent awe within you," can easily be misinterpreted to be harsh or intimidating. Maybe you're waiting for the other shoe to drop in your relationship with Him.

Ask God, your heavenly Father,  to help you break those cement blocks of fear which were laid in your formative years so that you may receive his love and encouragement. He wants and deserves your worship, your praise and your deepest respect and awe. But it's not his intent that you should cower in fear before him. Or that you should keep your distance from him, waiting for others to tell you what he wants.

Father, help us to be fearless as we  come to you, to know you and to have a relationship with you. Help us to see for ourselves who we are in relationship with you so we can heal and grow into mature followers - true children of God! Amen.

I'll do it my way....

One of the toddlerhood stories my mom used to tell me about myself was that I always had an independent spirit - that "me do" mentality. I didn't want anyone to help me with things, until I tried
to do it myself.

I carried that "me do" spirit with me all through my school days. As a teenager in Girl Scouts, I refused to fall for the "left-handed smoke shifter" initiation, taking my little band of fellow initiates with me on a scavenger hunt to find objects to make one. When we finally came back, everyone was a trifle upset because we stayed away so long. Even the leaders were worried. Oh the secret glee I felt that we had "won."

Like a pair of well-worn pair of slippers, I brought my "me do" spirit right into my Christian walk. I didn't want to ask the Lord for help without trying to find the answers on my own first. Each time I prayed, I had my own Plan B as a back up in case he didn't answer me.

But ultimately as an abuse survivor, God had to confront that "me do" attitude, helping me to learn it was really an attitude of pride and fear rather than trust.  In the depths of my heart, I didn't believe I deserved God's help and feared that he wouldn't always be there for me if I asked him for the things I needed.

My good buddies, the Israelites must have felt that way too. Here in Exodus 16 God is trying to teach them trust and  to heal their abuse-damaged emotions. Still, they insist on doing things their own way. "Me-do, me-do,"  seemed to be their battle cry as they gathered their manna.

 Moses said to them, “Let no one save any of it until morning.” But they did not listen to Moses. Some left part of it until morning. And worms grew in it and it became bad to eat. So Moses was angry with them. Morning after morning they gathered it, every man as much as he could eat. But when the sun became hot, it would melt.

On the sixth day they gathered twice as much bread, two jars for each person. When all the leaders of the people came and told Moses, he said to them, “This is what the Lord said: ‘Tomorrow is a time of rest, a holy Day of Rest to the Lord. Make ready the food you will need for today. Then put aside what is left to be kept until morning.’” So they put it aside until morning, as Moses told them. And it did not become bad to eat, and there were no worms in it. Moses said, “Eat it today. For today is a Day of Rest to the Lord. Today you will not find it in the field. Six days you will gather it.

 But on the seventh day, the Day of Rest, there will be none.” On the seventh day some of the people went out to gather it. But they found none. Then the Lord said to Moses, “How much longer will you go against My Word and My Laws?  See, the Lord has given you the Day of Rest. This is why He gives you bread for two days on the sixth day. Every man should stay home and not leave his place on the seventh day.³⁰ So the people rested on the seventh day. Exodus 16: 19-30 NLV

God gave them specific instructions on how to deal with this heavenly bread.  Yet, they still didn't trust him to provide for their needs, even though he had shown them several times that he would!

But God knew their hearts. What they were really saying was, "We know God can take care of us, but we're just not sure he will always take care of us. Just in case God turns on us, punishes us  like the Egyptians and withholds food from us, we will take care of ourselves." Their pride and fear taught them  to become invisible to God - to step out of his radar, so to speak - rather than to live freely in his presence.

Do you trust God's provision and blessings? Or do you fear he won't be there for you? Do you always try to take care of yourself so you won't get hurt again,  "just in case" God doesn't help you?

God has a specific plan to help us  lose the pride and fear of that  "me do" mentality  that causes us to take control of our own lives and to refuse his help. But it requires our obedience to his plan. How has he done that in your life?

Blessings,
Bonnie